Saturday, September 13, 2014

Blossoming At Home

When I removed my son from public middle school in February of 2012, it was because he was struggling.  He didn't seem to have the basic learning skills necessary for success.  It was difficult for my husband and me to help him because we weren't in school to observe exactly what was going wrong.  He was in school during his most rested and receptive hours, and by the time he returned home he would be tired and discouraged, making homework and other forms of support more difficult.

Attention differences run in both sides of the family, and his attention differences were significant enough to cause challenges, but not significant enough to warrant special help.  That might have been a blessing because sometimes extra help can come with a doubled edged sword.  There is always a concern that the student will be labeled.

He was also painfully shy and quiet.  It was difficult for him to interact with the more aggressive students, and he was distressed by the daily fights and bullying that he witnessed.

The first year that he was with the local online charter school with the K-12 curriculum, he struggled.  He could no longer sit in the back of the class and daydream until the bell rang.  He had to do the work, and couldn't move on until it was done.  During that first year, he worked seven days per week.  At the end of the school year he wasn't quite done with the curriculum for the year, so he worked over the summer.  But for the first time, he did all the work, because for the first time, he wouldn't be promoted until he did.

He also had to be more organized.  He no longer came to me at the end of the school day with a backpack filled with a bewildering wad of disorganized, crumpled school papers. He still needed to learn to put everything away between classes, and he did occasionally misplace books and papers, but gradually he improved.

Of course we were concerned about socialization, and so we made sure he had plenty of opportunities to be around other young people in the community.  I've come to the conclusion that it's better for young people to interact in a healthy community made of people of all ages, rather than socializing them in a community of mostly people their own age - especially when a significant percentage of those young people do not know how to be social with others in a healthy way.  The advantage of finding a healthy community of people of all ages is that young humans benefit from having role models from every age group.  We eventually found our community in a little local acting school called Casting Call Entertainment.

The second year was a little better.  It became easier for him to control his focus and get into a state of flow for learning.  He still worked seven days each week, and on many days he worked eight and nine hours per day.  He dealt with the daily temptation of distracting influences, and sometimes when I stepped out the room, he gave in and played video games when he needed to be working.  Despite that, he finished by the end of the school year and had the whole summer off.

This year, as his school prepares the students for high school and common core is in full swing, the curriculum is more rigorous than ever.  Despite this, his time management skills are improving.  I am pleased to say that he is thriving.  This week, for the first time since he first put on a backpack and trudged off to school, he has finished all of his school work for the entire week by Friday afternoon and has a full weekend off.

I'm very thankful for so many things.  I'm  thankful for the charter school, since without it he would not have had access to the wonderful curriculum.  I'm thankful for the common core, for providing benchmarking to help the students be more competitive in the world economy.  I'm thankful that it's possible for me to stay home with my son and see to it that he becomes an independent lifelong learner.

In the future, he may decide to go to the local brick-and-mortar high school in our neighborhood.  Or he may decide to remain in a home based learning system, where he has the flexibility to work part time and sleep whenever he needs to.  Regardless of what he chooses to do, he will have the skills to succeed and I will be supportive.

I am very proud of my son, because he has worked hard and overcame many challenges.  The future looks bright for him.